All you can do is try

But you can’t actually  make  someone happy.
You can create the circumstances within which someone should be happy, sure, and don’t get me wrong, that’s a worthwhile effort. The most noble, right?

But like anything you attempt regularly, to be really happy with the act itself, you have to find joy in the attempt. You have to release the other person’s feelings and separate them from your own. I can want you to be happy, but I can’t need you to be happy. Not as a prerequisite for my own value.

If I make a valid attempt, a selfless, thoughtful attempt and you don’t get it, well OK, it’s certainly not wasted. And I need to be more than just OK with that, I need to be prepared for it, and accept it as a perfectly valid outcome.
Once I do, there’s no more risk. There’s no more down side.
If the negativity addict continues to be negative, but I took a few valid shots at it, whats wrong with that. Sure I should learn from it,evaluate and try to do better, but not be disappointed.
In some ways releasing the expectation would seem to make the act seem more selfish, but I’m still not doing it for myself, I am sincere in the effort, I’m just powerless to assure the actual outcome. The addict has to choose recovery.
I have to set the non-random act of kindness free and let it live or die on its own.
At the end of the day I chose the efforts to make some small corners of the world better. I generated or reflected that positive force.
And once I’m free of evaluating the results, I do it a whole lot more often. Because again, there is no risk anymore, so it’s a much freer exercise.

We can take satisfaction in the attempt.

We do the best we can.
Every day.


~ by interpretingillusions on March 23, 2012.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: